Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
