you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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