there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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