my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize