three words: i give head
three words: not that well
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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