Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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