What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
