all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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