Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
