i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
