You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize