I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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