and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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