Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
