Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
