The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
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We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
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They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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