I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
