Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
