How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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