So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
