so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize