his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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