I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he thought i was a dude.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
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