i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
