I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
