So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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