The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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