i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
