We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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