youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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