Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
