im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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