Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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