I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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