After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
