theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
