He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
