Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
