a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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