Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Soap is not a condiment
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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