There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
