Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize