my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
