I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
