oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just sucked dick on a ferry
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
