I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
