Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
