So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize