She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
