The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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