Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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