Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
