You're completely useless in the revolution.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
