So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
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You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
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I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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