we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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