Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
