Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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