I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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